Teens Today with Vanessa Van Petten

Welcome to a secret view into the world of the net-generation. I love writing to you (maybe a little too much) so enjoy, stick around and be sure to tell me what you think...and, duh, get on my email list quick! (on the right, "subscribe via email"). Or subscribe to my RSS feed.

Happy Fourth of July!

Here are my posts from the week:

My 10 Over Achiever Tips for Teens This Summer We all need to do a little summer prep work, here are my books and tips for getting ahead this summer. Plane studying anyone?

10 Obnoxious Trends of a Hollywood Teen Just for fun, many of you might recognize the hair extensions and lap dog trends!

7-2-2008 News for Parents Potter Pals, drinking with your teens, summer brain drain, best places to raise a family, Baby Borrowers show, young sex offenders…

Is Your Kid a Toasty or a Teacup Part II of Teacup Parenting

10 Tips for Teens with ADD or ADHD Co-written by myself and some friends and clients with ADD and ADHD for your benefit!

Teen Articles:

New Weekly Column: Teen Fashion Trends by Samantha

E.T(een) Phone Home: 8 Tips to Get Your Teens to Call Home

10 Steps Towards Building Your Self-Esteem

Sign up for the Mom Blog Makeover call July 10th!

Be sure to sign up for our once-per week digest email or get our posts everyday by filling out the box on the right “subscribe via email”

Have a great weekend, be safe!

Vanessa and Team

I had to do a shout out to all of my homies in Los Angeles…no, I don’t really speak like that.  This weekend I went to have brunch in Beverly Hills and was sitting next to a big table of teens.

After completely eavesdropping on their conversation and checking out their clothing, I decided to conjure up the memories of my own teendom in Hollywood to write this post.  One thing I noticed (besides their general lewdness) was the fact that there are a lot of trends going in and out very quickly.

This is just for fun:

1. Out: Fake avatars
In: Real-life lap dogs

2.  Out: Black nail polish
In: French Tips

3. Out: Baby-T’s
In: Baby Bumps

4. Out: Spotting celebrities while partying in Hollywood
In: Going out with celebrities in Hollywood

5. Out: Starring in your own YouTube Video
In: Starring in your own Reality show

6. Out: Highlighted Hair
In: Hair extensions

7. Out: Spray Tan
In: Sunset Tan

8. Out: Twittering
In: Plurking

9. Out: Texting
In: Sexting

10. Out: Volunteering at the local soup kitchen
In: Micro-finance loans

I had a great call on Monday with my mom blogger readers! Sorry for those of you who I had to turn away, I still have room in the call Thursday July 10th, 2008 4pm Pacific Time.

If you are a blogger, author, business owner trying to get more parent users, please check out my mom blog makeovers!

This video only has 46 million views.  I don’t really get it, but teens and tweens are obsessed with it.

Breaking News

Time: Should Parents Drink with their Kids?

Help Your Kids Stop the Summer Brain Drain

Forbes: America’s Best Places to Raise a Family Revealed

Young Sex Offenders Will Have A Record for Life

Articles of Interest

Kids First! Names Top 100 Kid’s Movies

Newsweek: No Such Average Family

Ten Easy Steps Towards Creating an Enjoyable Relationship between You and Your Teen

Opinion Piece on the New Baby Borrowers Show

Vanessa’s Picks

Me on MomScoop talking about Parent and Teen News

KidZui A parental control search engine for kids, I really think this is a good idea.

Adoption is Not For Sissies I just watched these videos about adopting a baby in Taiwan and they are so wonderful and touching [Cry Alert]

Book of the Week

Blast to the Past Series by Stacia Deutsch and Rhody Cohon

I love these books they actually make history in interesting!

My teen intern, Samantha will be keeping all of us up on Teen Fashion trends every WEdensday with my news posts, very cool! Samantha is a 17-year-old aspiring fashion journalist who lives in the O.C.

Aspiring to be a fashion journalist, I would like to inform teens and parents on the fashion trends that our sweeping the globe.

1) Gladiator Sandals

The new trend hit late spring, early summer. These Gladiator sandals can be found at any department or brand store. They can be worn with blue jean shorts and either a long sleeve with a scarf, a tank with some long necklaces and a big purse, or a regular t-shirt with threaded and/or beaded bracelets. Also, the sandals can be worn with summer or chic dresses, and with jeans.

2) Summer Scarves

Scarves are most commonly known in the summer and fall. Now, with the summer sun shining, summer scarves are coming back, but with a cooler summer style. These scarves can be worn day or night. Paired with jeans and a tank or a dress, summer scarves are hitting the clubs and catwalks. Some great accessories that go perfectly with these scarves would be bangles-which can either be big and bulky, or small and noisy. Another great accessory that pairs beautifully with this trend would be a purse.-big or small, it does not matter. Summer scarves are not only found in women’s closets, but in men’s closets as well. These scarves can be found in any department or brand name store, such as Forever 21, The Gap, Macy’s, Nordstrom’s, etc.

3) Motorcycle Jackets

One of my favorite trends of the summer would have to be the use of motorcycle jackets. Most commonly worn by motorcycle riders, motorcycle jackets have taken the fashion industry by storm. These wonderful jackets can be paired with a chic dress and heels, or with jeans and an unfitted shirt that has a summer scarf draped and wrapped around the neck. My favorite way to wear my motorcycle jacket would be to wear my jean shorts that I purchased from Forever 21, with a vintage tank that I got from a relative, with necklaces and a ring, or bangles and a ring, or whichever way you would like to pair your jewelry. And depending on the weather, I would bring a light summer scarf just in case. I love wearing flats or my gladiator sandals with my jacket…very chic.

All in all, fashion trends don’t have to be waited for; you should invent them according to your own personal style. You may never know, I might be writing about your style trend someday.

by Juliette is a 15 year old high school student in North Carolina.  She is interested in pursuing a career in writing and in her free time enjoys volleyball, juggling, and photography.  She is one of my fabulous teen interns!

As teenagers mature and pursue their interests, they undoubtedly leave home for prolonged periods of time whether it be for a sports tournament or a summer camp.  Retaining communication with their parental units during this time is always a struggle. Parents want to talk to their child 24/7, their kid is involved in whatever they are doing and does not want to take the time to talk to their parents.

While it is stressful to have a child away from home and the parent’s desires are understandable, it is important that an argument does not arise from this situation.  As a teen who has experienced the “You have to call at least x number of times” myself and witnessed the stress that my parents feel if my siblings do not call as scheduled, I would like to offer a few helpful tips on how to help your teen make contact with you without making them think that you are a prison warden!

1) Forgetting Happens

Know that your teen is involved in activities that he/she may be enjoying very much or at least are sufficiently keeping his/her attention.  This means that while it may seem like forever since they called you, your child may not notice how long it’s been, and yes, they may forget to call.  This is even more true of male teens who are generally less inclined to communicate.  For example, my older brother is a teen studying in a foreign country and has called only twice, talking for about one minute each time (though this may be because it of price of long distance on his cell phone) in the week that he has been abroad.

2) Do Not Panic

If your child forgets to call, do not panic.  They aren’t dead by the side of the road.  Wait to see if they call slightly late, and if you feel the need, call them yourself and see what’s up.  Do not play chicken to see who will call first, as this will always hurt more than it helps and will not “teach your kid a lesson.”

3) Consistent Not Calling Is A Problem

If your child consistently does not call, then there is a problem.  Discuss it with your child calmly without allowing the stress of not knowing where they are/what they are up to interfere with the calmness needed for this conversation.

4) Have Contact Numbers

Whenever your child is away have contact numbers available to both you and your child.  Make sure that you have the numbers of people that your child is with so that in a worst case scenario, you have other people who you can try to call.  Also, make sure that your child has sufficient numbers available so that in the case of an emergency they can get in contact with you wherever you are.

5) Do Not Talk Their Ear Off

When you are actually on the phone with your child, do not talk their ear off.  This will increase the chances that your child will not call again/frequently.  You are probably feeling glad to be able to talk to them since they have been away, but remember again that they are involved in their own activities and do not feel as pressed to talk to you as you do to them.  Understanding this, it is still important to communicate with your teen, especially while they are separated from you.

6) Allow them to be the guide

Let them guide the topics of conversation more than you do in regular conversations.  Since they are the one who is away, they probably have a lot to say and things that they want to tell you.  Do not drone on about the ordinary things that have been happening at home unless they ask.

7) Do not be the Spanish Inquisition!

Understandably you want to know what’s been going on with them, but do not take it too far.  If you feel your teen drawing back from your questions, (you’ll notice this if they start answering with shorter and shorter responses until it’s down to just affirmative grunts) then start to reel it in.  Try asking more broad questions such as “How has the ___ been going?” or “What’s it like in ____?” Many teens feel intimidated when their parents start firing questioned aimed at specific details as soon as they get on the phone.  By allowing your teen to fill in the details and tell you what they want to tell you, they will feel far more comfortable.

8) Be available.

When your teen is away from home, they may turn to you as an outlet to talk about things that they don’t want to/cannot talk about with the people that they are with.  While you understandably have your own life, try to be available for as long (or as short) of a conversation that you teen wants in case there is something that they truly need to talk to you about.

This all hits very close to home with me because while rooming with my fellow teammates at a volleyball tournament in Florida, I watched one of my roommates be forcefully pulled into the hall by her mother where a yelling match ensued because her daughter had not called.

This mother was staying in the same hotel as her daughter and was watching her daughter play everyday for hours a day: hardly a case of being far away proximity-wise.  However, because of the stress of being away from her daughter, a small problem became a bigger one.  Hopefully, through patience in both you and your teen, such an extreme situation can be avoided.